January 19th - April 21st, 2009

A Breakdown:

Cost for trip: $2600
Months spent in Europe: 3
Months spent in Spain: 2 and a half-ish
Hours spent on a plane: 35+
Hours spent online: 200+ (estimate)
Hours spent doing what I was here to do: 20ish
Hours spent in detainment: about 6
Countries visited: 5
Countries kicked out of: 2
Total modes of various transportation used (plane, bus, car, on foot, etc): 7
Mona Lisa's seen: 1
Cost of phone bill: no comment
Total visits to a church service: 2
Ice cream consumed: enough to make Blue Bell blush
Moments of irritation and desperation: countless
Moments of joy and happiness: more than countless
Friends made: at least a couple. Maybe. Hopefully?
Cameras broken: 1
Facebook photo albums created: 7
Naked people seen on beach: too many
Sunburns: 3
Spanish words learned: about 20
Most important of those words: "queso"
Knowing that I can do anything I set my mind to and having an amazing experience that I'll remember for the rest of my life: priceless.

So, I'm sitting in the office. Alone, which is better than what was going on yesterday. And I've got some Snow Patrol coming through the headphones, mellowing the mood. In an attempt to help the next three hours of my life pass quickly, I decided to update. But the thing that really sucks is that its an insanely beautiful day outside.

Monday morning, I hop a train to Paris. There, its some lovely debriefing with what will hopefully not be ScaryTerry. I'm preparing to vent, making a mental list of everything that has happened over the past 3 months. But I'm starting to think that I don't have enough brain capacity to store everything that's happened. But then, Tuesday morning, it go time. A flight from Paris to Philly to Charlotte and then, oh then, one final stop in the lovely city of Jackson, MS. And then what? Who knows. Readjustment. Starbucks. Quality time with people. Lots of good ole American food. Move on with life. It'll just be nice to finally be somewhere that I feel wanted and useful. Haven't felt that in about, oh I don't know, 3 months.

And how do I feel about all of this? Relief. Glad to finally be getting out of this situation, to finally have breakdowns on a weekly basis and finally get back to my normal, unemotional state. Excited. I'm ready to be home and see people that actually give a crap about me and that I really really miss. That'll be nice. Disappointment. I'm quitting. No matter what anyone says otherwise, I know in my heart that I couldn't hack it and I had to quit. Its something I'm going to have to deal with. Fear. I have absolutely no idea what I'm doing. Sadness. I'm leaving a place that I love, that's completely beautiful and awesome. I'm also leaving my compadre, roommate, and teammate of three months. And I'll miss her. It'll be weird to not sleep three feet away from someone every night or have daily venting sessions. I only hope she doesn't snap one day, climb a clocktower, and kill everyone within 100 yards. That'd be bad.

But this time next week, what will I be doing?! Starbucks! Barnes and Noble! Target! Being home!

I will not, however, be able to see this whenever I want anymore.

Ah, my ever changing world of when I'm going home. Currently: sometime before April 21st.

That means I have two weeks, give or take some. That made me realize how much I still have to do and see before I leave. Plus, there are gifts to buy so that people back home don't throw fits at me.

For the most part, my frustration is pretty low. But that's mostly because I don't really care anymore and am just going through each day, biding my time. Terrible thing to say, but so completely true. My day currently: Wake up sometime between 10:30-12, shower, eat lunch, watch some TV/movie online, go sit in the office for three hours and pretend to be busy while silently wanting to kill someone, come back home for some possible Skypage, dinner, Skypage, waste time online, sleep by about 2:00. Every day. Quite sad.

But now, a picture: